Nikki didn’t think anything would scare them after they came out. But here they were, a Facebook-proclaimed non-binary and transgender person, afraid of a field hockey practice.
It wasn’t an official practice. More of an informal gathering of a few of their field hockey friends getting ready to brush off the cobwebs before the season started. Yet for Stuart, it was a test. They waited for something weird to happen, for some indication that would confirm their fears.
That the team would consider them “different.”
That the team would tiptoe around the subject about them being trans.
That the team would consider them more fragile than before.
“[I was afraid] that instead of being one team, it would be the girls and then Nikki,” Stuart said. “I didn’t want me being trans to ostracize me from the team in any way.”
But to Stuart’s surprise, as the group continued their routine, the conversation continued to flow as it had in the past.
“Nothing was going to change,” Stuart said. “This was the new normal.”
As Stuart continues their fourth and final field hockey season, they have found overwhelming positivity from the team’s players, coaches and parents. With the transition in mind, the team has incorporated subtle differences into their daily routine that have been pleasantly clear to Stuart.
I informed them in the meeting that we are not the girls field hockey team.We are not going to refer to them in that way. We are the field hockey team.”
Instead of “Secret Sister,” a field hockey tradition where players receive gifts from an unknown benefactor, it is “Secret Siblings.” In the first get-to-know-each-other team circle, each player introduced themselves with their name, grade and preferred pronouns. Now, the coaches yell, “Players, let’s go!” instead of “Ladies, let’s go!”
Junior varsity coach Bonnie Belshe, who has known Stuart since middle school, first received notice of Stuart’s transition via an email sent by them to her and varsity coach Denise Eachus.
“I emailed them back, and I’m just so proud of Nikki for being open and honest and coming into their own skin,” Belshe said.
Since the email, which Belshe regarded as bravery unprecedented for a teenager, she and Eachus have pushed to make the pronoun change not just during an interaction with Stuart, but in casual conversation as well.
“I informed them in the meeting that we are not the girls field hockey team,” Belshe said. “We are not going to refer to them in that way. We are the field hockey team.”
That distinction made field hockey a place where Stuart could test the waters of the binary system. But for soccer, the other sport they have played through high school, Stuart does not feel as welcome.
“The nature of how [soccer] is divided into boys and girls, I feel like I would be intruding more than I would like to,” Stuart said. “I don’t think it’s the time or place for me to change that binary system.”
The tight-knit team has loosened some of the stitches to make Stuart feel a little more snug and has given them an opportunity to be a more authentic teammate.
“They have really stepped up vocally, helping out new players,” Belshe said. “[Stuart’s] really a positive force on the field.”
They have found themselves being more forgiving of their mistakes, being more empathetic towards other players, being more comfortable about who they are. And now, with their teammates on their side, Stuart is not afraid.
.jpeg?auto=webp)
.jpeg?auto=webp)
.jpeg?auto=webp)
.jpeg?auto=webp)